Jogjakarta day 2

My mind’s washed away into a dream…
I was sitting with her in a long chair in Malioboro sidewalk, just like the first time I met her with other students of Atma. But there is something different. We’re separated although we sit on the same chair. She made a gap between us. And I just don’t know what to do, I feel so hesitate this time. It is all is because of my pathetic idea of leaving. But I got no solution for such damned trouble; I can’t even take their advices. I’m an introvert person; I got someone to love, someone to share my life with, but I never be able to solve my own troubles. We just clam up; everything is so still, as quiet as if no crowd walks in front of us. Something is wrong; everyone has gone.
The rain doesn’t fall but why everything gets so cold, so still? I can’t break this damned atmosphere. We never felt such ambience before. Why this shit happen on the last day I meet someone I love? This is not wat I hope to be on the last day I see my girl. People can just mock my fool idea, in spite of the fact that they don’t even feel the same suffering I do. Just they are so ridicules!!
Asshole… u never understand any fucking introvert boy like me…
wat if u were me, huh?
Wat if ur family can’t live normally becuze of ur shit on ur 20?
Do y’all still think that ur girl is the first thing u gotta figure out?
Fuck y’all! U can only make a mock of my shit.
El…please trust me, we shouldn’t go this way. This town is the best place ever for me; u gave me all I need. U gave me community, a family. You are my girl, my friend, the best one I got. Of course I never want this afflicting day come. But, just…
Unexpectedly, I feel a hand moves my shoulder”wake up Dude... come on! the sun has raised so high...” oh shit, its Igun woke me up”ooh Man... Wat an early bird! U wanna catch the worms? I’m still so sleepy, beside, you broke up my dream.”
”listen, I got an exam this morning and this is the last day. So, U gotta help me, just write a lil notes for me, you rewrite Mahfudz notes. I’m gonna need it. Come on...Just get up, grab the pen and U will be doing the best thing for ur god damned best friend in Jogja. At least for this time”
“What kind notes? U want me to help you to do some dishonest ways in exam?”
“Damn, u re right...hahaha...U knew me. Come on, just this time. It’s gonna be started on 7, and I still have alotta thing to do, I gotta bath first. Come on just help me.”

..oOo..

I try to call Maja, but her number isn’t even activated. It is Friday August 22nd 2008, the 5th day on the last week before my classes in Surabaya starts. I have actually told her that I was going to come by her place in Jogja, since we can only meet on holidays at home and never be able to see each other in Jogja itself. I don’t know, but I think she must be really busy with her “organization” in college. She had been interested in that field since in hi school before she entered “Jurusan Pendidikan Bahasa Inggris” of UNY. Well, it’s ok I can’t see her on the last time I stay in this town. But, actually it’s really deplorable. I actually wanted to see every meaningful person I ever met during in Jogja. I always try to make it the last, the last time I feel sad for moving and moving. Something really deplorable is my relationship with El, because she is the best friend I got, she is my only love, and now I gotta leave her because of my shit. Hence, I had long time decided, before I knew that its gonna be really pathetic, to end all of wat they call as running away from God’s destiny. I never ever want to run from my own troubles anymore, for they have been made for me to solve.


I ride my bike to every corner of UGM where I used to spend Sunday morning with my friends. But I don’t see anyone I knew. May be they haven’t return from holidays, or they may be really busy in their faculties with the new students.